Entry for April 29, 2006

With these new theories swirling around my head, I go to the Nutritional Summary web site and look up pears. From the list of protein and amino acids I notice that two of the highest ingredients are acids.

Pear (Raw)

Protein & Amino Acids:

Aspartic acid: 173 mg
Glutamic acid: 49.5 mg

Both of these work as excitatory neurotransmitters in the nervous system. As I look up the effects of Amino Acids and how diet can effect the nervous system, I come across Niacin deficiency:

Niacin
Niacin (nicotinic acid) is another one of the B-complex vitamins that may be linked to neurological damage. Mild niacin deficiency is associated with weakness, tremor, anxiety, depression and irritability.

Niacin helps increase energy through improving food utilization and has been used beneficially for treating fatigue, irritability, and digestive disorders, such as diarrhea, constipation, and indigestion. It may also stimulate extra hydrochloric acid production.

Nicotinic acid also helps reduce blood pressure and, very importantly, acts as an agent to lower serum cholesterol. Treatment with about 2 grams a day of nicotinic acid has produced significant reductions in both blood cholesterol and triglyceride levels.

In general, niacin deficiency affects every cell, especially in those systems with rapid turnover, such as the skin, gastrointestinal tract, and nervous system. Other than photosensitivity, the first signs of niacin deficiency are noted as decreased energy production and problems with maintaining healthy functioning of the skin and intestines. These symptoms include weakness and general fatigue, anorexia, indigestion, and skin eruptions. These can progress to other problems, such as a sore, red tongue, canker sores, nausea, vomiting, tender gums, bad breath, and diarrhea. The neurological symptoms may begin with irritability, insomnia, and headaches and then progress to tremors, extreme anxiety and depression. The skin will worsen, as will the diarrhea and inflammation of the mouth and intestinal tract. There will be a lack of stomach acid production (achlorhydria) and a decrease in fat digestion and, thus, lower availability from food absorption of the fat-soluble vitamins, such as A, D, and E.

The liver can synthesize niacin from the essential amino acid tryptophan but the synthesis is extremely slow and requires vitamin B6. Bacteria in the gut may also perform the conversion but are inefficient.

Many food charts list only sources that actually contain niacin and do not take into account tryptophan conversion into niacin. Approximately 60 mg of tryptophan can generate 1 mg of niacin. But tryptophan is available for conversion only when there are more than sufficient quantities in the diet to synthesize the necessary proteins as tryptophan is used in our body with the other essential amino acids to produce protein.

Niacin needs are based on caloric intake. We need about 6.6 mg. per 1,000 calories, and no less than 13 mg. per day. Women need at least 13 mg. and men at least 18 mg. per day. The RDA for children ranges from 9-16 mg.

A mild niacin deficiency can cause a tremor! How interesting… Is this the breakthrough I’ve been waiting for? I’m also wondering now if this explains why my triglyceride levels were so high on the last blood test. Back on April 11th, the acupuncture doctor told me there was only two reasons for high triglycerides.

1) Eat a lot of fat red meat.

2) Not eating enough fruits and vegetables.

Now there is a third: NIACIN Deficiency.

I look up pears and they only contain 0.3 mg of Niacin however a can of tuna has 21.5 mg per can and it contains 440 mg of tryptophan.

Looks like I’m having Tuna for lunch!

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Entry for April 28, 2006

Sympathetic Nervous System Dominance

The sympathetic division of the nervous system is the “accelerator” portion of the body, or it makes it the body function faster. The parasympathetic nervous system functions like the brakes for the body. Normally the body balances the sympathetic division of the nervous system with the parasympathetic division. The parasympathetic division could be thought of as the “brakes” for the body. Now, when these are in balance there’s no problem, but if you have one working and the other not working, you are in trouble. If your brakes work but your accelerator doesn’t you don’t go anywhere. If you accelerator works but your bakes don’t you can’t stop. When the sympathetic nervous system is overactive the following symptoms can develop: stomach upset and irritation, frequent cold sweats, stomach inflammation, a feeling like the body is always “racing”, diarrhea, excessive sweating, loose stools, a racing heart, irregular heartbeat, and incomplete digestion resulting in gas.

Parasympathetic Nervous System Dominance

The parasympathetic nervous system functions like the brakes for the body. When it is overactive you may feel very sluggish, and the digestive tract may malfunction due to a lack of hydrochloric acid. With a lack of hydrochloric acid your body will not adequately digest food and you may suffer from food allergies /sensitivities. It is important that this be corrected as the inability to digest your food can result in almost any health problem.

This is all very interesting and I feel like I’m on the verge of a major breakthrough. Is my health problems related to the lack of hydrochloric acid? Luckily, there is an easy way to find out.

CHECK YOUR STOMACH FOR SUFFICIENT HYDROCHLORIC ACID

To test for sufficient hydrochloric acid:

You need betaine hydrochloride tablets plus enzymes – they are available from health food shops. Take half a tablet before the last mouthful of a main meal. Burning or indigestion means you have plenty of hydrochloric acid. Don’t take any more tablets. Use antacid or teaspoonful of bicarbonate to relieve discomfort. If no burning or indigestion, next day take 1 tablet in the same way. If still no burning or indigestion, next day take 2 tablets in the same way. If still no burning or indigestion, then you need more acid.

Here are the most common causes of indigestion:

1. Candidiasis
2. Food Allergy
3. Gallbladder Disease
4. H. Pylori
5. Heartburn
6. Hiatal Hernia and Esophagitis
7. Lactose Intolerance
8. Ulcers

Most people who suffer from chronic indigestion have been to doctors and have been tested for various conditions. If this describes you, and if you have read about the above ailments and still can’t find the cause of your indigestion, there are two other possible causes that are not widely known:

• Deficiency of hydrochloric acid
• Deficiency of pancreatic enzymes

If you suffer from deficiency of hydrochloric acid or lack of gastric acid secretion, you may experience:

• Bloating, belching, burning, and flatulence right after eating, diarrhea or constipation, a feeling of overfullness after eating, food allergies and nausea caused by nutritional supplements.

With all of the diagnostic testing and experiments in my diet the past year, I can easily rule out the eight common causes of indigestion so I’m left with the two other possible causes that are not widely known. Deficiency of hydrochloric acid or Deficiency of pancreatic enzymes. It goes on to say that if you lack pancreatic enzymes, there are supplements that can help. Preparations of pancreatic enzymes isolated from animal sources are used with other enzymes including bromelain, which comes from pineapple, to aid digestion. Is this why I felt better after my three day pineapple diet back in August? Nausea caused by nutritional supplements? Is this why the vitamin supplements from the Naturalpath made me feel worse? 

Things are starting to make a lot of sense so I take this research to my wife. She mentions how I feel better when I take vitamin C and how it’s an ascorbic acid. I google the effects of vitamin C and come across this article:

One common complaint regarding vitamin C is that it can cause gastrointestinal distress, including cramps, diarrhea and nausea. These symptoms, which are caused by the acidity rather than the ascorbate itself, seem to disappear when a buffered form of vitamin C is taken.

So now I’m wondering if I have both the deficiency of hydrochloric acid and the deficiency of pancreatic enzymes? Interesting thought: The Acidophilus works because it’s a mixture of bacteria that helps digestion. This explains why it helps but doesn’t fix the problem. Another site talks about Alkaline and Acidic Imbalance.

What if I’m Overly-Alkaline?

Alkalinity is relatively rare, but if your urine and/or saliva consistently test above 7.0 pH, start with steps 1, 2 and 3 below and continue adding steps until the desired results are achieved. Be sure to monitor your progress with easy-to-use pH test strips. You will notice that some of these steps are the same as those recommended above for an overly acidic condition. This is because these steps have a buffering effect, or in other words they are balancing, tending to bring the pH back toward normal no matter which direction it has gone:

Enzymes are essential: Take 1-2 capsules of Food Enzymes or Proactazyme Plus with every meal. Also take 1-2 capsules of High Potency Protease and Nature’s Noni between meals on an empty stomach.

• Support urinary and lymphatic systems’ ability to excrete toxins: Take Kidney Drainage and Lymphatic Drainage in water according to directions. Then use Lymphomax and Urinary Maintenance to maintain.
• Correct calcium is needed: Use NSP’s Liquid Calcium.
• Vitamin C: Use Timed-Release Vitamin C. Use 3,000 mg or more, to maximum bowel tolerance. (If diarrhea occurs, reduce intake.)
• Flax Seed Oil: Use 1 capsules of Flax Seed Oil 3 times a day or 2 tablespoons of Liquid Flax Seed Oil daily.
• Cleanse as needed: Take a psyllium hulls supplement such as Psyllium Hulls Combination at bedtime to maintain regular bowel movements. Use CleanStart twice a year for liver, bowel and kidney detoxification.

Number four: Take 3000 mg or more of Vitamin C to change the alkalinity of the stomach. That is exactly what I have been doing for months and now I find it’s recommended!! Not one doctor picked up on this. Not one doctor could figure out why I need to take so much vitamin C.

More research and experimentation is required…but this is most definately progress.

Entry for April 28, 2006

A busy week and I haven’t had time to do any research until today. In the late afternoon I’m at work sitting at my desk and suddenly I notice my hands are really cold and so are my feet. So just for luck, I google “cold hands” and come across the following article:

COLD HANDS

Cold hands are a sign of an overactive autonomic nervous system. More specifically, the signs of an overactive sympathetic nervous system. Our emotional and physiological self are controlled by the autonomic nervous system – a system that increases and decreases our heart rate, breathing rate, etc. One group of nerves “speeds” us up and one group of nerves “slows” us down. These groups are known as the sympathetic nerves and parasympathetic nerves. When the sympathetic nerves are fired (stimulated) the heart rate increases and blood is shunted from our hands, feet, and abdomen to our large muscle groups such as thighs and hips. Many muscles tense during this stimulation. This is a primitive reflex response which prepares us to flee from a threatening situation. (remember in high school biology the fight or flight response?) The parasympathetics, when stimulated, slows the heart rate down, causing rest, relaxation, and eventually sleep. During parasympathetic stimulation blood flows throughout the body and into the abdomenal organs (to help digestion, etc). 

Cold hands are a connection to parasympathetic nerves?? Holy cow! I don’t have the time to do any research so I’ll wait until I get home.

Entry for April 25, 2006

I washed my hair this morning using Jason organic shampoo and WOW! I can feel the difference right away. My hair is so much softer and my forehead feels soft too. Here’s what it says on their web site:

Vitamin E with A & C Shampoo (Body Enhancing)

No Lauryl/Laureth Sulfates
Super Enriched with 5 Vitamins, 22 Amino Acids and 5 Botanicals. Revitalizes Dry, Tired Hair

Using only the purest Natural Vitamins, Amino Acids and Botanicals, this nourishing shampoo is specially formulated to gently cleanse dry or damaged hair without stripping away necessary moisture. It is super-enriched to build body while it adds a healthy shine, and concentrated to save you money. A small amount is all you need.

Acupuncture appointment number seven. Another uneventful week and I still have the mystery internal vibration. I did switch back to her vitamin C tablets but found that I would get the weird head pinching sensation everytime I did. If I took one of my vitamin C tablets, it would disappear. This leads me to believe that my problem is with the gastrointestinal tract and not actually needing vitamin C in my system.

When I told the doctor I was still vibrating and that her new direction had no effect, she was quite confused. She said I was her toughest patient and it was good because she liked the challenge. She wanted to regroup and she asked for my opinion on what I thought the problem was. We reviewed my discoveries and what worked for my symptoms.

1) Acidophilus settles my stomach.

2) Eating pears will stop the vibrations.

3) Vitamin C will also stop the vibrations and get rid of the weird head symptoms.

I tell her about my suspicion of Serotonin because it is a neurotransmitter effecting the central nervous system and it’s created in the gastrointestinal tract. I can’t say for certain but it’s my guess. I have looked up the symptoms of Serotonin deficency and it doesn’t really match.

She tells me how the Parasympathetic Nerve is connected to the stomach but she’ll need to do more research for my symptoms. I’ve never heard of the Parasympathetic Nervous System so I agree to do some research as well.

She takes my blood pressure and it’s high again: 137/90

She wants to change the treatment to focus on the stomach. She starts by cupping my back and this time she says my circulation hasn’t improved. She places new needles in my back for 15 minutes and then the front. She looks at my wart and it’s almost completely gone. She uses Moxa on the wart and then on an acupoint just below the knee on both of my legs. This is new and she explains that this is done for my stomach. How interesting. As I’m still lying on the table, she takes my blood pressure again: 135/79.

As I’m leaving she gives me a new suppliment to try. This one is for my stomach and it’s called BaoHe Wan. Here is what it does:

Bao He Pian (Bao He Wan) promotes digestion, removes stagnated food and regulates the stomach†. The herbal formula is used for the retention of food, distension of fullness in the abdomen, eructating foul odor and acid regurgitation, loss of appetite†. It is also used for incoordination between the spleen and stomach, stomachache due to damp stagnation lying hidden, indigestion, oppression and depression over the chest and diarrhea due to hypofunction of the spleen.

Entry for April 24, 2006

I was talking to my mother tonight about Wendy Mesley’s program and she happen to mention about the neighbour who died recently of some kind of neurological disease. Now this is only pure speculation but she thought it was related to the fact that he rented a tank of weed killer and sprayed his lawn every year. She never saw him use a face mask or use gloves when using the chemicals.

By complete coincidence I came across this article in the Toronto Star:

Health study underlines weed killer concerns

Apr. 25, 2006. 01:00 AM

DENNIS BUECKERT

CANADIAN PRESS

 

OTTAWA ”The most commonly used weed killer on Canadian lawns and gardens is known only as 2,4-D and is “persuasively linked” to cancer, neurological impairment and reproductive problems, a new study says.

The report in the journal Paediatrics and Child Health contradicts a recent re-assessment of 2,4-D by the federal Pest Management Regulatory Agency, which found it does not cause cancer and can be used safely on lawns if directions are followed.

Found in many pesticides, it’s been controversial for decades.

The study appeared the day MP Pat Martin (NDP-Winnipeg Centre) tabled a private member’s bill to ban pesticide use for cosmetic reasons.

Martin says more than 50 million kilograms of pesticides are still used in Canada each year.

His bill would require pesticide makers to prove their products are safe before being placed on the market, rather than regulators being required to prove the products are dangerous.

Authors of the new study say the federal re-assessment is largely based on animal studies, which cannot predict consequences in humans. They say many are confidential, supplied by pesticide makers.

“The (agency) 2,4-D assessment does not approach standards for ethics, rigour or transparency in medical research,” said medical writer Meg Sears, speaking for co-authors Robin Walker, Richard van der Jagt and Paul Claman.

Van der Jagt chairs the Canadian Leukemia Studies Group. Walker is past president of the Canadian Pediatric Association. Claman is a University of Ottawa professor of reproductive medicine.

Entry for April 23, 2006

“You get cancer by being exposed to this whole range of chemicals, often at critical periods of your development, and over a long period of time. “

Still shocked from watching Wendy Mesley’s report,  my wife and I do some more research on the toxins and carcinogens in our everyday lives. With us having a new born baby we both agree that we should be careful about the things we use and we start googling…

When our baby started on rice cereal we looked at all of the different brands and every single one had all kinds of additives. We wanted something that was just rice and nothing else but couldn’t find anything on the shelves. Because we couldn’t find anything, we decided to check at Loblaws and we they sold  their own brand of organic rice cereal. Perfect!

My wife made the decision before our daughter was born to use cloth diapers instead of disposable. We don’t make a lot of money so the cost savings were enough to justify it. As she did more and more research, she read about the danger of disposable diapers.

Chemicals in Disposables

Since your baby will spend so much time in diapers, let’s take a closer look at disposable diapers. On the market since the early 60’s, the disposable diaper changed from a plastic diaper with a lot of paper fluff to a diaper constructed of a waterproof plastic outer layer, an absorbent pad with super absorbent chemicals, and an inner liner. The super absorbent chemical, sodium polyacrylate, absorbs and holds fluids in the diaper. This chemical has been linked to toxic shock syndrome, can cause allergic reactions, and is lethal to cats if inhaled. Death has occurred from ingestion of just 5 grams of this chemical. Pediatric journals contain reports of this chemical sticking to babies genitals. When the baby’s skin gets wet, this super absorber can poll fluids form baby’s skin. Dioxin, the most toxic of all cancer-linked chemicals, according to the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), is a byproduct of bleaching paper. Even in the smallest detectable quantities, dioxin has been known to cause liver disease, immune system suppression, and genetic damage in lab animals. Dyes found in some disposables are known to damage the central nervous system, kidneys, and liver. The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) received reports that fragrances caused headaches, dizziness, and rashes. Problems reported to the Consumer Protection Agency include chemical burns, noxious chemical and insecticide odors, reports of babies pulling disposables apart and putting pieces of plastic into their noses and mouth, choking on tab papers and linings, plastic melting onto the skin, and ink staining the skin. Plastic tabs can also tear skin, and disposables may contain wood splinters.

In 1987, the Sunday Democrat and Chronicle published news about the new Pampers Ultra. The new gel they used caused severe skin irritations, oozing blood from perineum and scrotal tissues, fever, vomiting, and staph infections in babies. Employees in Pampers factories suffered from tiredness, female organ problems, slow-healing wounds and weight loss. According to the Journal of Pediatrics, 54% of one-month old babies using disposable diapers had rashes, 16% had severe rashes. A survey of Procter & Gamble’s own studies show that the incidence of diaper rash increases from 7.1 percent to 61 percent with the increased use of throwaway diapers, great for manufacturers of diaper rash medicines. Widespread diaper rash is a fairly new phenomenon that surfaced along with disposable diapers. Reasons for more rashes include allergies to chemicals, lack of air, higher temperatures because plastic retains body heat, and babies are probably changed less often because they feel dry when wet.

In her research, she came across a brand called “Nature Clean” mentioned on the baby boards as a safe alternative for cleaning products. She recognizes the name from shopping at Sobey’s so we’ll check the next time we go there. She also comes across a web site that is a “Guide to Less Toxic Products” from Nova Scotia. It lists the toxic description of everyday products and suggests alternatives.

We did our normal shopping today at Sobey’s and discover they don’t have much in the way of organics so we agree to make the extra trip to Loblaws for the organic rice cereal. My wife goes into the store and I wait in the car. She calls me from inside the store and says they have everything you can imagine in terms of organics and that I should come in too. I put the baby in the stoller and head inside. It’s ORGANIC EVERYTING! Shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant and cleaning products.

I’ve decided not to go too crazy with this organic stuff but I’m concerned about the long term exposure. I’m impressed so I buy Jason shampoo and organic toothpaste. I still have my other deodorant at home so I won’t switch to organic until I’m finished. My wife buys some organic baby shampoo and laundry detergent.

Who knows if it will make a difference but I feel really good about it.

Entry for April 22, 2006

Managed to watch the CBC special on Wendy Mesley tonight.  The web site was great but to actually watch it was something else.

After hearing about the different theories and causes of cancer, I thought about my Uncle who died of pancreatic cancer in 1981. When my weird symptoms started, I did think of him and looked up the symtoms to see if they matched mine. They didn’t match so I moved on and I didn’t think of it again until today.

I googled the symptoms for pancreatic cancer and as I’m reading, one of them stood out.

Risk factors for pancreatic cancer include:

1. Age
2. Male gender
3. African-American ethnicity
4. Smoking
5. Diets high in meat
6. Obesity
7. Diabetes
8. Chronic pancreatitis has been linked, but is not known to be causal.
9. Occupational exposure to certain pesticides, dyes, and chemicals related to gasoline.
10. Family history
11. Helicobacter pylori infection

My Uncle died at the young age of 46 and worked most of his life at a Shell Chemical Factory. Here’s what the web site says:

Principal activities: Shell Chemicals at Stanlow manufactures a range of petrochemicals from raw materials typically sourced either from the neighbouring refinery or from the ethylene facility at Mossmorran in Scotland (Shell:ExxonMobil JV). The petrochemical products made include: – higher olefins (intermediates for polymer, lubricant and detergent chemicals); – plasticiser and detergent alcohols (intermediates for plasticisers and for household detergents); – toluene (used, for example, in foams for furniture & bedding, artificial sports tracks, ski suits and waterproof leisurewear) – ethyl benzene (feedstock for Shell’s Styrene Monomer/Propylene oxide (SMPO) plants); – propylene (feedstock for polypropylene).

Main chemicals products manufactured Propylene, higher olefins, plasticiser alcohols, detergent alcohols, ethyl benzene, toluene. 

My uncle was a chauffeur for the Shell executives and it’s my guess that he spent a lot of his time waiting around to take them somewhere. With all of his exposure to toxic chemicals, I have to say I’m a little suspicious…

Entry for April 27, 2006 (Brooke Di Bernardo)

My mother was telling me about a girl from Orangeville who had these very weird symptoms and it was declared a mysterious illness. She bounced around from doctor to doctor for four years before they finally figured it out. It’s an extremely sad story…

Here is the article from the Toronto Star:

`We all let her die’
Brooke Di Bernardo’s heart simply wore out. Her parents wonder why, in four years of shuttling her to doctors, no one saw it coming

Apr. 22, 2006. 05:23 AM
JESSICA LEEDER
STAFF REPORTER

For the final four years of her life, 14-year-old Brooke Di Bernardo suffered from a mysterious illness: a constant pain burned in her chest; tying her shoelaces left her winded and dizzy; she had blacked out in school stairwells, in doctors’ offices, and alone in the horse-training arena where she couldn’t muster the strength to pull her face up from the dirt.

The Caledon teen was shuttled to more than a dozen physicians, from cardiac specialists to psychiatrists and emergency room doctors, but no diagnosis — not motion sickness, not asthma, not stress or anxiety — seemed to fit. Eventually, both her parents and some of her doctors began to wonder if her illness was real.

One pediatrician, Brooke’s mother Lea recalls, was adamant that the girl was just panning for attention.

“(The doctor) said, `I know all about children like you. You are going to have to sit there on the floor if you collapse and you are going to tell your brain … Brain, I’m not going to do this anymore,'” Lea said.

Brooke died three weeks ago, on the first day of April. The day before, when she was so weak she couldn’t sip water without choking, she was airlifted from a hospital in Orangeville to Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children. Doctors there determined she was in the advanced stage of a hard-to-detect heart/lung disease called pulmonary hypertension, a rare and fatal disorder that causes the heart to fail, starving the body and lungs of blood. Brooke’s heart gave out a day after she was diagnosed.

Concerns over the quality of Brooke’s medical care have prompted the Ontario coroner’s office to launch an investigation. A committee of eight independent medical experts will review every test the teen was ever given to figure out how her illness was missed, with the aim of discerning what, if anything, went wrong. Their final report could include recommendations for systemic changes.

“The question is how did the child see so many physicians over a period of time and yet not be diagnosed,” said Dr. Jim Cairns, the province’s deputy chief coroner. “That’s a very valid question on the part of the family. It’s one we want to know the answer to.”

Brooke’s parents, Vince and Lea Di Bernardo, and her sister, Brittney, 16, understand the rarity of the disorder. But they insist that had she seen doctors who steered her on a different treatment path — and spent less time on mental health queries — she would have suffered less.

“I would have hugged her every day, and laid in her bed with her,” Lea said. “Nobody would have been telling her, `It’s in your head.’ Nobody took her seriously because she was a young child. We’re sick now, thinking about it. What if we got her to Sick Kids sooner? They might have saved her. From the time she was 10 to the time she died, the whole system failed her. We all let her die.”

When Brooke was 10, she began complaining of dizziness when riding her horse. The former competitive swimmer also had trouble catching her breath, which was strange. She’d never had any trouble before.

A doctor suggested Brooke might have motion sickness. So the Di Bernardos bought special wristbands in hopes the symptoms would go away. They did not. “She had the exact symptoms from day one to the day she died,” Lea said.

As the year wore on, Brooke began making medical rounds. Sitting in different doctors’ offices, she was tested for allergies, asthma, a hormonal imbalance, heart trouble. All the tests came back clean, including an echocardiogram done to examine her heart rhythms in 2003.

Partly because of Brooke’s love of horses, Lea and Vince, a retired Internet entrepreneur, traded their Mississauga estate for a sprawling Caledon farm, where they built a horse-training arena and began to care for the animals full-time. But when they moved, a year and a half ago, Brooke was too sick to ride.

As the months passed, Brooke’s “episodes” were triggered anytime she couldn’t catch her breath. First, her face would go red, then turn whitish in the cheeks. Her eyes took on a vacant look and she lost her vision right before a collapse.

The Toronto Star contacted eight doctors who counted Brooke as their patient. Four refused comment, citing patient confidentiality and the coroner’s investigation.

Dr. Tilman Humpl, a pediatric critical care specialist and director of the pulmonary hypertension clinic at Sick Kids, said the disease Brooke suffered from is extremely difficult to detect, largely because there is no way to screen for it, no silver-bullet test. Fatal in its final stage, the condition affects the small blood vessels supplying the lungs. They tighten and scar over time and — as if the opening in the pipes that feed the lungs have shrunk — make it harder for blood to get to the lungs. To compensate, the right side of the heart goes into overdrive and pumps harder. As that side of the muscle grows, it inflates so much it squeezes the left size of the heart.

“It’s only able to do this for a certain amount of time. At some point, it fails. The whole system falls apart,” Humpl said.

The symptoms leading to that point — dizziness, shortness of breath, chest pain — could take years to develop, and mimic other disorders, like asthma, Humpl said. For those reasons, patients with pulmonary hypertension are often misdiagnosed.

In Brooke’s case, asthma was ruled out. A psychiatrist Brooke was then referred to suggested her episodes might be caused by anxiety; the Di Bernardos say they were told that by picking her up from school when she had an episode, or by taking her to the hospital, they were encouraging the behaviour.

Although skeptical, Vince stopped leaving out the ATV he had purchased for Brooke when she got sick so she could ride up the long farm driveway when she got off the school bus. The walk takes a healthy person about five minutes; it caused Brooke to collapse.

When school administrators called to say Brooke had an episode in the hallway, he would plead with them not to call an ambulance, citing a psychiatrist’s advice. He chided her when she didn’t have the energy to get out of bed and talk with friends on the phone.

“We told her, `You’re going to have no friends,'” Vince said.

But he felt funny about ignoring Brooke’s symptoms — she was never the type to act out for attention.

On the last night of Christmas break, Brooke slipped a note to Lea begging to take a leave from school until she recovered: “I’ve been trying to make some decisions on life involving my illness, and I’ve realized how much happier I am when I’m at home with just you and the horses,” she wrote. “At school I feel nervous and stressed as if people are judging me and I hear about everybody’s weekend with their friends and how I know I can’t do those same things … I feel so alone, but when I’m with you I feel as if I’m important enough.”

The Di Bernardos insisted Brooke continue at school. In February, her symptoms worsened. She was usually too weak to last a day at school.

Vince and Lea suspected Brooke actually had far more episodes than she let on. “She was so tired in her mind, and nobody was listening,” Lea said.

A few months before Brooke’s death, the Di Bernardos said they were making appointments with her family doctor every couple of weeks. Eventually, they had trouble getting appointments. “As
if we were hypochondriacs,” Vince said. “I started panicking. I was calling (the doctor) every day.”

The family’s Orangeville-based physician, Dr. David Josephson, told the Star in a written statement he could not discuss the case. “It is impossible to discuss the medical issues in this case publicly,” he wrote.

Vince said he was worried that doctors weren’t doing enough so he sought out an American clinic where he could take Brooke for help. “Money wasn’t an issue,” he said. But he decided to wait, and exhaust local options first. The Di Bernardos were hoping to get Brooke checked out by specialists at Sick Kids — they’d been there before, but on referral to see a psychiatrist. To see any other specialists they were told they’d need a referral. Lea said she asked Josephson, but was not able to get one.

One night, about six weeks before she died, alone for a few minutes in the training arena, Brooke collapsed in the dirt.

“I’m walking past the (barn) opening and I see Brooke at one end, her legs all twisted, her face was right in the sand,” Lea said. “I couldn’t get her up and I couldn’t get her in the wheelbarrow.”

Vince and Lea cleaned her up and put her to bed, rather than making the trek to the hospital.

“We’ve been conditioned not to go. We have gone so many times to the hospital and they just send us home. I wish I knew I could have just taken her to the emergency room at Sick Kids,” she said. “We wouldn’t have wasted all this time.”

The last time the Di Bernardos were sent home was after an early-morning visit to Headwaters Health Care Centre in Orangeville in late March. Brooke was vomiting, had diarrhea and said her whole body was in pain. “Just to touch her chest was horrifying,” Lea said. In the emergency room, Lea said she tried to explain Brooke’s complicated medical history. After some tests, Brooke was told she might have the flu, Lea said. Brooke was dehydrated, and they were told to pick up some Gatorade on the way home.

“The symptoms she presented our hospital certainly would not prompt one to think of pulmonary hypertension as the most likely thing,” Dr. Ronald Murphy, the hospital’s chief of staff, told the Star yesterday. “Being told to go home and drink some Gatorade is not what happened. A little more happened than that.” He declined to elaborate.

The Di Bernardos say they left the hospital frustrated.

“(Brooke) sat and rocked on the floor all night vomiting,” Lea said. At 6 a.m. the next day, Brooke asked to go back to Headwaters. They saw a different doctor, and chest X-rays showed swelling in her heart, lungs and liver. Brooke was hooked up to an oxygen machine. Lea said she begged the doctors to send Brooke to the Hospital for Sick Children. In the hallway outside Brooke’s room, chatter began about ordering a helicopter.

The flight to Sick Kids was 20 minutes, and Brooke and Lea landed just before 3 p.m. Emergency room doctors began running a plethora of tests including an echocardiogram, the same test Brooke took in 2003, when she was given a clean bill. This time, it showed she had advanced pulmonary hypertension, known as PH.

Dr. David Langleben, a Montreal-based PH specialist, said there are only about 10 to 15 new cases of the rarest, most deadly form of the disease in Ontario per year. “For a general practitioner to pick this up would be very lucky,” he said.

Although research on the disease is advancing, Sick Kids’ Humpl said there is no cure, although some treatments (such as lung transplants) can extend patients’ life span for a few years. The likelihood of a treatment working is higher the earlier the disease is caught. In other cases, especially where doctors can’t pinpoint a cause, treatments do not work at all.

“Always in retrospect, you say if we’d picked it up earlier, we could have prescribed this wonderful medication,” said Humpl. “That isn’t how it works.”

Humpl said PH is “not a clear-cut disease. This is the problem. You have to have this click in your mind. You have to think, this may be PH,” Humpl said.

For one of Humpl’s colleagues at Sick Kids, that “click” came not long after Brooke arrived. But by then, the left side of her heart was barely working; the only real treatment possibility was an immediate lung transplant. To do it, doctors would have had to catch the disease much earlier, said Cairns, the coroner. Although Sick Kids’ doctors found the problem immediately, it was too late.

At Brooke’s bedside, Lea watched as her daughter pulled off her oxygen mask.

“She starts blowing her nose, frantically blowing her nose. She couldn’t breathe. She was flailing and grabbing her throat. They were holding her down, they held her as she was gasping for air, and they were grabbing us and dragging us out,” she said. “Then they came to tell us they couldn’t save her.”

Brooke died of cardiac arrest.

When it was over, the Di Bernardos clustered around her body. A nurse washed her hair and cut off a blond ponytail-length lock for them to keep.

“We got to hold our daughter for two hours after she died in the trauma room,” Lea said. “That’s my good memory.”

In the weeks since Brooke’s death, the Di Bernardo farm has become burdened with signs of teenage death. The kitchen is filled with sympathy cards, dried-out flower arrangements, a handful of colourful “bravery beads” given to Brooke at Sick Kids, the lock of her hair, and a clay imprint of her hand.

With pictures of Brooke everywhere, the Di Bernardos have been sifting madly through heaps of her medical files and torturing themselves with “what ifs.” Their ultimate goal has become to make sure — somehow — that what happened to Brooke never happens to any child ever again.

“My daughter’s death can’t be for nothing,” Vince said. He and Lea hope the coroner’s investigation will lead to an inquest.

“It’s hard enough to lose a child, but to know they’ve suffered,” Lea said. “I can’t sleep at night. I think of all the times she suffered and we didn’t know. We’re crippled now for the rest of our lives.”

Entry for April 20, 2006

Now that I’ve starting eating more fruits everyday I’m starting to realize how hard it is to actually eat healthy. The snack machine in the lunch room is full of chocolate bars, chips and pop. The donut shop downstairs doesn’t sell any fruit. It’s a real effort to eat healthy. No wonder so many people are sick.

For a while now, every morning I’ve been bringing a bunch of fresh fruit in with me. I have an apple with my oats for breakfast and I eat pears and bananas throughout the day. It’s interesting to see how people react when they see the big pile of fruit on my desk. “Oh you’re eating healthy today..” or some other comment.

People don’t realize that what I am doing should be normal but people react like I’m doing something completely abnormal. I ate a banana the other day and it had a sticker on it. “5-10 a day. Are you getting enough?”

I am definately in the minority…

Follow the Five-a-Day Rule

Ever heard of the “five-a-day” rule? It refers to the recommended minimum of five servings a day of fruits and vegetables to get the most benefit from our diet. That’s easy to remember, but apparently hard to do as only 25 percent of Americans manage to meet this recommendation. Clearly, we’ve got work to do in order to improve the quality of our diets so that we can live healthier lives.

Healthy eating patterns can reduce the risk for heart disease, cancer, stroke and many other diseases. Poor eating habits, on the other hand, lead to obesity, a lack of energy, and increased risk for health problems.

In addition to getting necessary fiber and nutrients, here’s a newer reason to follow the five-a-day rule: many fruits and vegetables contain phytochemicals, natural compounds found in plants that are associated with prevention of disease.

No one really understands how many phytochemicals there are or how they all function. Thousands have been identified already. Familiar ones are the antioxidant beta-carotene, which the body uses to make Vitamin A and is found in yellow and orange vegetables, and lycopene, found in tomatoes and other red fruits. Consumption of these phytochemicals has established benefits, such as lowering the risk for heart disease, and also has been linked to diminished risk of some cancers, although research has not yet established a certain causal relationship.

As the emerging benefits of phytochemicals become more widely known, drugstores are filling their shelves with phytochemical supplements. Taking a pill to get the benefits linked with phytochemical consumption may seem convenient, but it’s important to get these chemicals from real foods. We have not yet discovered all of the phytochemicals present in fruits and vegetables. Taking a pill with beta-carotene and lycopene provides only those two phytochemicals; a salad with tomato and shredded carrots gives us many more. In addition, studies show that supplements are not nearly as beneficial as foods containing phytochemicals, and in some cases the supplements were even found to be detrimental.

Entry for April 19, 2006

I applaude Wendy Mesley. She had a health issue and wasn’t satisfied with the answers she was getting so she did her own investigation. (Very similar to me except for the fact that she is a reporter for the largest television network in Canada.)

According to the Canadian Cancer Society, here are the seven steps to good health:

1) Don’t smoke
2) Eat your veggies
3) Exercise
4) Stay out of the sun
5) Get screened regularly
6) Visit your doctor and dentist regularly
7) Avoid cancer-causing substances

Those are all great tips for healthy living – but like so many other Canadians with cancer, Wendy Mesley did all of them and still got the disease. Clearly, there must be something else going on. The real cancer story is the fact that nearly one in two of us are going to get this disease.

From the Breast Cancer Society of Canada: “In 2005, an estimated 21,600 Canadian women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 5,300 will die from it. The cause of breast cancer is unknown and cannot be prevented.”

Interestingly enough, of all the facts and risks listed for Breast Cancer, the birth control pill is not one of them. Here’s some facts from Austrailia:

One in eight women in Australia will be diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 85. The number of women diagnosed with breast cancer in Australia increased from 5,318 in 1983 to 12,027 in 2002. It is projected that there will be 13,261 women diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 and 14,818 in 2011.

The incidence of breast cancer has skyrocketed over the last couple of decades. During this time the lives of women have changed dramatically with fewer babies being born and to older mothers than ever before.

Medical researchers have long recognised early puberty, late menopause, small number or no children and lack of breastfeeding as risk factors for the development of breast cancer. Enabling these lifestyle changes was the development of the oral contraceptive pill. The question that needs to be asked is whether the taking of the oral contraceptive pill has any part to play in the development of breast cancer. As reported by the study into the breast cancer cluster all ten women had taken the pill for varying periods of 2 to 18 years.

The Women’s Health Initiative Clinical Trial reported that prolonged exposure to exogenous ostrogens and progestins in hormone replacement therapy increases a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer, and recently the World Health Organisation classified both hormone replacement therapy and oral contraceptives as group 1 carcinogens.

A new analysis reveals that U.S. breast cancer rates plunged more than 7 percent in 2003 and strongly suggests that the reason is less hormone use. Millions of women quit taking menopause hormones after a big federal study found that the pills raised the risk of breast cancer.

The estrogen in birth control pills is a synthetic form called ethinyl estradiol. It’s a potent form of estrogen that is roughly four to ten times stronger than that used in different types of HRT.

A meta-analysis 2006 from the Mayo Clinic into oral contraceptive use as a risk factor for premenopausal breast cancer concluded that use of oral contraceptives is associated with an increased risk of premenopausal breast cancer, especially with use before first full term pregnancy. This being due to the fact that the nulliparous breast is made up of undifferentiated structures which are susceptible to carcinogens and it is not until a full term pregnancy that the breast is completely developed and not as vulnerable.

Entry for April 18, 2006

Acupuncture appointment number six. Another uneventful week with my symtoms and I’m guessing this is a good thing however the allergies do seem to be better.

She starts by taking my blood pressure and it’s the lowest reading yet. 132/86. I tell her about my reduction in vitamin C and she is very pleased. Today she starts with the cupping on my back and then the needles. Now that my blood pressure is more down to normal and the lungs are getting better she tells me she is taking a different approach. She wants me to up the dosage of the suppliment to three times a day and a few new acupoints are added in around my arms. After 15 minutes she flips me over and adds the needles into my abdomen. She does some head massage for my sinuses and needles the wart again. She mentions that my scalp is very congested. Normally there is a little bit of blood when the needles are removed but with me, there is nothing.

After six treatments my sinuses are the best they have felt in a very long time and my wart is going away like magic. She takes my blood pressure again and it’s lowered to 137/79. It’s the first time that she was happy with the reading. Was it the suppliments? Was it my increased fruit intake? Was it the acupuncture? Who knows…

Still have the myterious internal vibrations but she seems to think this new direction will help.

We’ll wait and see…

I take the usual picture of my back to view the progress of the cupping and it’s the best yet. I do feel that my breathing is better so it looks like this cupping is working. I still can’t believe I took the allergy shots for two years. Allowing them to put those toxins in my blood system for so long when a few needles for six weeks has given me more results then the two years of allergy shots.

Entry for April 14, 2006

What the Canadian Cancer Society isn’t telling CBC’s Wendy Mesley could be killing Canadian women.

For Immediate Release
March 16, 2006
Maurice Vellacott MP

OTTAWA – “If the Canadian Cancer Society is not telling Canadians the truth about the birth control pill’s link to breast cancer, what else is the Canadian Cancer Society withholding?” asked MP Maurice Vellacott, commenting on CBC reporter Wendy Mesley’s documentary, “Chasing the Cancer Answer” which aired recently on CBC’s Marketplace.

Pathologist Dr. Samuel Epstein, a professor at the University of Chicago and author of the book, Cancer-Gate: How to win the losing cancer war, told Mesley that Canada is in a cancer epidemic and the Canadian cancer establishment is not informing Canadians about the vast body of information on the avoidable causes of cancer.

When asked about the birth control pill, Dr. Epstein told Mesley, “The pill is the largest unregulated human trial that’s ever been conducted.” The World Health Organization issued a press release in July 2005 stating that the birth control pill is carcinogenic and slightly increases the risk of cervical, liver and breast cancer. When questioned why this updated warning was not passed on to Canadian women, Barbara Wylie of the Canadian Cancer Society (CCS) told Mesley, “I’ll have our folks take a look at it, Wendy.”

“In the interests of women, I hope the Canadian Cancer Society will also take a look at another risk factor for breast cancer, and a preventable one at that,” Vellacott said. “Induced abortion.” Since 1957, evidence linking induced abortion to breast cancer has been observed in over 40 studies worldwide. A 1996 meta-analysis conducted by Dr. Joel Brind, professor of endocrinology at Baruch College, City University of New York, established abortion as a significant independent risk factor for developing breast cancer.

“In the interests of women’s health, I have previously corresponded with the Canadian Cancer Society on this issue, but they refused to take a serious look at the relationship between abortion and breast cancer as I requested,” Vellacott said.

The Canadian Cancer Society’s website claims that scientific evidence does not support the relationship between abortion and breast cancer. “There is not only strong epidemiological evidence to support the link, but also a very plausible biological basis for it as well, according to Dr. Angela Lanfranchi, Clinical Assistant Professor of Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School,” said Vellacott. “It has to do with the natural maturation process of breast cells during pregnancy,” Vellacott explained. “When a woman becomes pregnant, changes occur in the breast tissue cells in preparation for lactation—the cells multiply rapidly and become susceptible to cancer due to the large amounts of estrogen present during early pregnancy. But as the pregnancy is allowed to continue past 32 weeks, the cells undergo another change which causes them to mature into milk-producing cells resistant to cancer. So when a pregnancy is abruptly terminated during an induced abortion, the maturation process is halted and the immature cells remain in the cancer-vulnerable state.”

According to the Canadian Cancer Society, breast cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian women and an average of 102 Canadian women will die of breast cancer every week. According to the Breast Cancer Society of Canada, “The cause of breast cancer is unknown and cannot be prevented.” According to Dr. Epstein, we are waiting until people get cancer, then we try to treat it. In 2006, cancer drugs will be the fastest growing class of pharmaceuticals in the world, exceeding $37 billion in sales.

Vellacott asks, “Why will the Canadian Cancer Society not take an objective look at what the research says about the link between abortion and breast cancer if they’re serious about prevention?” Dr. Epstein accuses the cancer establishment of “damage control” (screening, diagnosis, treatment) rather than prevention. Vellacott notes that pharmaceutical companies don’t make money by preventing cancer. The Canadian Cancer Society spends only 10% of its budget on cancer prevention, according to the Marketplace Documentary. Vellacott asks, “I wonder how much money the Canadian Cancer Society is receiving from pharmaceutical companies? I hope that the cancer establishment does not let interests other than women’s health dictate its business.”

Entry for April 14, 2006

And there’s always the other side of a story…

Birth Control Pill Link to Breast Cancer

By Terry Vanderheyden

The Pill: “the largest unregulated human trial that’s ever been conducted”

CHICAGO, March 7, 2006 (LifeSiteNews.com) – A world leader in cancer causes and prevention has warned that the so-called birth control pill is “the largest unregulated human trial that’s ever been conducted.”

Dr. Sam Epstein, author of Cancer-Gate: How to Win the Losing Cancer War and Professor of Environmental and Occupational Medicine at the School of Public Health, University of Illinois at Chicago, told the CBC’s Marketplace that exposure to the hormones estrogen and progestin, as found in the pill, increase breast cancer risk.

Marketplace author Wendy Mesley, herself a breast cancer survivor, explained that the World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer last year re-classified hormonal contraceptives as carcinogenic to humans.

Dr. Chris Kahlenborn, M.D. demonstrated that a woman who takes birth control pills before her first child is born has at least a 40 percent increased risk of developing breast cancer and a woman who has taken the pill for four or more years prior to the birth of her first child has a 72 percent risk factor in developing breast cancer. Dr. Kahlenborn’s book, “Breast cancer: Its link to abortion and the birth control pill,” published by One More Soul, is based on six years of study and a meticulous analysis of hundreds of scientific papers and other sources.

A European study, which looked at 103,000 women aged between 30 and 49 in Norway and Sweden found the risk of developing breast cancer rose by 26% for women who had taken the pill over those who had never used it. Moreover, women who had used the pill for long periods of time increased their risk of breast cancer by 58%. The study also found that women over 45 still using the pill had an increased risk of 144%.

The British Medical Journal revealed that the pill increases a woman’s risk of developing cerebrovascular disease by 1.9 times while increasing the tendency to cervical cancer by 2.5 times. The 25 year follow-up study with 46,000 British women also noted that the enhanced risk of death lasts for 10 years after women have stopped taking the pill.

Entry for April 14, 2006

I’ve cut back on my vitamin C to 500 mg a day. I’m really nervous about cutting back so I always carry extra with me. No ill effects yet so I’ll keep it going.

I was having a conversation recently with my dad about Kevin Trudeau’s book. We were talking about how the precription drugs are killing poeple and he mentions a story about a CBC investigative reporter named Wendy Mesley who was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. A quick google search and I find an article in the Globe and Mail.

THE GLOBE AND MAIL
January 8, 2005
By GAYLE MacDONALD

When Wendy Mesley discovered the lump in her left breast, her first impulse was to ignore it.

Not because the CBC news anchor and host has, in any way, a laissez-faire attitude toward her health. But because, for years, Mesley had found the odd, unusual growth, dutifully had them tested and all came back negative.

Until last October.

Wrapped up in shooting CBC’s much-publicized series, The Greatest Canadian, Mesley figured this breast lump, like the others, was a false alarm. But Liam, her husband of seven years, got on her case, and hounded her to see her physician, who sent her for a mammogram, an ultrasound and then a biopsy.

Two days later, the 47-year-old Mesley got a call that she was half-expecting (“I’m a journalist, and a nosy-parker person generally, so I’d asked the technicians a slew of probably inappropriate questions and I’d picked up some vibes”) — but still was not remotely ready for.

“It was just like in the movies,” remembers Mesley, who was at work when she received the news that the lump was malignant and would have to be removed. She had a lumpectomy midway through shooting The Greatest Canadian and is now undergoing aggressive chemotherapy.

“All of us were clinging to the idea that, well, you’ve had a few scares . . . it’ll be nothing. But somehow I knew [this time would be different]. When I got the call, it was like, ‘Wow. Wow. Wow,’ ” she recounts quietly.

“I can’t believe it. I was quite stunned by it. I immediately went home.

“I just never thought this would happen to me,” says Mesley, who has no family history of breast cancer.

“I do all these somewhat dangerous sports. I windsurf. I downhill ski. I knew I could hurt myself any number of ways.

“I just never dreamed of cancer,” says the CBC veteran.

She co-hosted Disclosure, now co-hosts Marketplace and often sits in for Peter Mansbridge as anchor of The National.

Still, in her characteristically frank and inquisitive way, Mesley’s been trying to figure out why cancer, and why her? “One thing that has struck me is how prevalent it is. You become part of this club once you have cancer . . . and I’ve been stunned by how big the sisterhood is,” adds Mesley, who has been told her chances of a full recovery are extremely good.

Ten or 20 years ago, she adds, nearly all the cases of breast cancer were genetically linked. Now, she says, doctors tell her they’re not. “One of the oncologists told me she suspects steroids in milk. Another thinks it’s all the chemicals and pesticides in our food. Some say it’s stress. Other than some misguided habits of my youth, I’ve always been something of a health freak, exercising and trying to eat right. So I want to know, what did I do? What did I eat?

“All I know is it’s a pestilence that is estimated to affect one in seven women. It’s way too common. But, thankfully, the cure rate is good. I’m one of the lucky ones. I got an early diagnosis. I am expected to live.”

So she’s optimistic — 90 per cent of the time — but also sometimes scared, sick and tired. She’s now getting hefty doses of the chemo treatment AC — which stands for Adriamycin and Cytoxin. The next round is Taxol, followed up with radiation.

Mesley has also discovered a small, malignant lump in her right breast that will have to be operated on.

“They found my cancer early, so they’re blasting it,” says Mesley. “And I’m one of the lucky ones. I get a lot of nausea and fatigue — and it is a roller coaster.

“But at the bottom of it, there are two classes of this disease: the one where you’re expected to live, and the one where you’re not.

“I can’t imagine being in the second camp. I know this is all temporary. If I thought I was going to die, I don’t know how I’d inspire myself. But this has been entirely bearable. My motto has been I can handle anything but imminent death. And that’s not on the table.

“This week I’m feeling great. Next week I’m sure I’ll be in the dumps again. My hair has fallen out, and that was quite emotional. But I’ve come to terms with that. I wear a wig, but not at home — much to my daughter’s chagrin. It’s my only way of extorting good behaviour,” she adds with a laugh. “I say to her, ‘Behave or I’ll take my wig off.’ ”

Mesley says telling her mom, Joan, and her six-year-old daughter (Mesley asked not to have her child’s name mentioned) were the hardest things. “I called my mom and said, ‘I have some news but I should probably tell you in person, why don’t you come down for supper?’ I didn’t want my daughter to see my mother react,” says Mesley, who is an only child.

“So I headed her off at the path as she hit the front porch. She was obviously devastated, which sounds like such a cliche, profoundly shocked and upset. But we instantly decided to just go into denial. We just promised each other I was going to be fine. That we were going to beat it. And why not?”

Her husband, an advertising executive, has also been “a rock.” He had a bad day the first time he accompanied Mesley to the chemo waiting room. “I think it suddenly struck him, ‘Oh God, my wife has this disease that people are dying of.’ ”

But like Mesley, he’s got a dry sense of humour that continually lifts them all up. “He’s been good at keeping me laughing,” she says. “When I first got the diagnosis, there was discussion of a mastectomy, which I didn’t have. But we were in the hospital and Liam sees this sign on the door that says, Breast Imaging.

“He says, ‘Oh, that’s the husbands’ room. That’s where we pick the new ones.’ I said, ‘No honey. It’s not about you.’ Then he more seriously offered to shave his head when he learned my hair would definitely fall out. I said, ‘Thank you very much but I don’t need an ugly husband,’ ” cracks Mesley. “So he still has his hair. Thank God.”

That same head-on approach to accepting the realities of the disease was passed along — in a gentle manner — to their daughter. “She’s very sensitive and very aware, and we’re very close,” says Mesley, who had her first child in her early 40s. “I just didn’t want one of those houses full of whispers, where the kids get a sense something is wrong but they’re not told what it is. My husband and I decided to tell her that I have breast cancer, that the doctors are going to fix it. That they’re going to give me medicine. I might be a little tired, but I’m going to be fine. I’m not going to die.

“Every once in a while she expresses worry, but as long as she’s talking to us about it, we’re fine. She makes jokes at school,” adds Mesley. “About me being bald. All the kids in her Grade 1 class want to see my head. But I’m not showing it. She’s such a great spirit. It’s hard to keep her down.”

On air, Mesley has always exemplified that hard-to-match blend of toughness and vulnerability. Those same qualities are in full force now. One moment she seems fragile. The next, invincible. The latter is the mental place she prefers to keep her energy focused.

“I expect to have gone through everything by Halloween,” she says cheerfully.

So she works when she feels well. She stays home when she feels nauseous, tired or low. Her colleagues are rooting for her. “She is beloved within the CBC,” says network spokesperson Ruth Ellen Soles. “She’s so straightforward, hard-working, simple, sweet, committed and funny,” adds Soles, who also battled breast cancer in 2000. “We all support her.”

Mesley keeps working, she says, because she needs the mental stimulation and the distraction it brings. “I’m not contributing near what I normally do at Marketplace,” she says ruefully. “But having cancer is like a full-time job, all the treatments, the sleep, the throwing up and the research to figure out the kind of care you’re going to have. If you’re a control freak — which I am — you make yourself an instant mini-expert.

“I’m not afraid of the chemo — well, maybe I am a little bit — I’m afraid of what anybody would be afraid of in this situation: That some day it will come back and kill me.

“But I’m not afraid of dying right now. I feel very loved and grateful for all the support I’ve been given, from the CBC, my family and my friends.

“It’s just a rough and scary thing to go through, but I’m determined to come out of it.”

Entry for April 11, 2006

Fifth appointment with the Acupuncture and I show my blood test results to the doctor. She asks me how I was feeling during the past week and it was uneventful. Nothing really different and the supplement didn’t appear to have any effect. I mention that I now have a stye in my right eye. It’s only just started but my eyes have been really itchy lately. It’s my own fault because I keep rubbing them and it feels like there is some grit on my eyeball. She tells me she will give me a new supplement that will help. We also talk about my vitamin C intake. She wants me to cut back to 1000 mg and I’m really hesitant. It’s the only thing that works but I agree to cut back.

She takes my blood pressure and it’s the lowest reading yet. (140/89)

She asks me if I know what Triglycerides are? Nope! No idea. She tells me that there are only two ways to have high triglycerides. One is to eat a lot of fat red meat (which I don’t) and the other way is to not eat any fruits or vegetables. Ah ha! Okay, that’s making some sense.  She says that a high level of Triglycerides can lead to atherosclerosis.

Here’s what it says on Wikipedia:

Role in disease

In the human body, high levels of triglycerides in the bloodstream have been linked to atherosclerosis, and, by extension, the risk of heart disease and stroke. However, the negative impact of raised levels of triglycerides is lower than that of LDL:HDL ratios. The risk can be partly accounted for a strong inverse relationship between triglyceride level and HDL-cholesterol level.

How interesting. You’d think with all of the blood tests I’ve had this past year, one doctor would’ve mentioned this by now? Here again Kevin Trudeau is right on the money. Doctors are not interested in prevention. They don’t find anything wrong if it can’t be treated with drugs.

“That’s the reason why there’s been virtually no movement in the field of prevention. The more drugs are bought, the higher the profit. The more disease there is, the greater the profit.”

She starts with the cupping again and says she wants to add some new accupoints today on my back. I show her my wart and it’s really cleared up from the past week and she’s happy with the progress. One more treatment next week and it will be gone.

She finishes with the back and does the front in the same points as last week. She takes my blood pressure again and it’s lowered to 135/87. After the acupuncture she give me the supplement for my stye. It’s called “Ming Mu” and it will help moisten my eyes. I get home and take a picture of my back again. I notice the red marks are a lot lighter than previous treatments. Progress? Great!

Entry for April 10, 2006

I’ve increased by fruit intake by eating a lot of apples, pears and bananas. Still drinking two litres of water but I don’t feel any better for it.

I’ve had other projects on the go recently so I haven’t been reading the book by Kevin Trudeau and I also haven’t had time to fill out that twenty page questionaire from Women’s College.

Didn’t notice any difference taking Vitamin C with bananas but it was worth trying…Still taking about 2500-3000 mg of Vitamin C with two doses of acidophilus.

I had a very close friend call me up today and asked me how I was feeling. I told him about the 20 page questionaire and that I’m really hesitant to take it to my doctor. He convinced me to make the follow up appointment and said if that didn’t work, he would recommend his own doctor. His daughter works in a walk-in clinic and she said she could push me to the front of the line. (Great to have friends in high places…) So I leave it with him that I will follow up with my own doctor and if I don’t get anywhere, I’ll call him.

Made the follow up appointment for May 5th at 9:00 AM. (Fingers crossed)

Still vibrating…

Entry for April 07, 2006

Today I receive a message that the walk in clinic from last week wants to see me about the ECG test results. This is interesting. He said he would only call if there was something other than the RBBB. I arrive there straight after work and meet with the doctor.

He shows me the results from the ECG and yes there is a Right Branch Bundle Block just like I said. There is also something else scribbled “J-Point Mutation ….” and beside that it reads “Normal Variant”. Never heard of that one before but if it’s a normal variant, I won’t worry about it.

He reviews the blood test results again and says my Triglycerides (3.55) and Hemoglobin (172) were slightly above normal but everything else looked fine. I have no clue as to what he is talking about so I take the test results and head home.

Triglycerides (3.55) Greater than 2.30 is above normal.

 Hemoglobin (172) Greater than 170 is above normal.

So nothing found again. Not really sure why he called me in. I do know one thing, people don’t get sick on Friday nights…the place was empty. Took my blood pressure at Sobeys and it was 130/79. Perfect reading.

Still vibrating…

Entry for April 05, 2006

Yesterday I decided to try an experiment.  With the Vitamin C playing a role in the conversion of tryptophan to serotonin, I discover that Bananas are a good source of tryptophan (10.6 mg). So everytime I take my vitamin C pill, I will eat it with a Banana.

Fourth acupuncture appointment and it’s been a quiet week for my symptoms. I tell her about the test results from the walk in clinic and she takes my blood pressure. It’s 148/98. Still a little high but it’s a little lower than usual. Today she wants to continue with more cupping and she will place needles in my back for the first time as well as the regular ones on the front. I mention about a wart on my hand and she treats that as well. She checks out my tongue and comments on how the overall colour is better and there is noticeable improvement. I ask her for some acupuncture needles as a souvenir and she gives me three different types.

She asks me if the herbal supplement made a difference and if there was any change to the mysterious interal vibrations. Nope. Still the same fine tremor. No effect what so ever.

I’ve felt better the past week but was it from the supplement or was it because I went back to 2500 mg for Vitamin C? Who knows!

Still vibrating….